Farideh Osmani

My attitudes are not foreign, and neither is the way I live my life. But even though I think and dream in Danish, I will never become 100% Danish.

I had lived with my father for three days when he hit me for the first time. Before we came to Denmark, my brother and I had only lived with our mother, so my father was a complete stranger to me. My life was controlled and I had no freedom. Throughout my childhood I have been thrown between my father, my mother, and various shelters, but I never really fitted in anywhere. I couldn’t live up to my father’s expectations of a good Muslim daughter; I am not a mummy’s girl who behaves properly and correct; and because of my appearance I am not a real Dane either. I am still looking for my place in society, not just for myself but for all the others too. The people who know me, know that I like to provoke people and push their boundaries.

It is important to give space to each other, and we can only do that if we drop all our prejudices. Even if you are a Muslim girl, wearing a headscarf, I will still offer you a cigarette or a beer, because why should other people’s prejudices deprive you of your choice? You should not be judged by your religion, sexuality, ethnicity or your appearance for that matter. People should not be subject to control, whether it be from their family or from society. That is why I don’t think I will ever become 100% Danish. Because if I do not want to change myself for my family’s sake, why should I do it for Denmark?

25 years / female / single / HF student / Copenhagen S / from Afghanistan / came to Denmark in 2001 / residence permit same year